When making a big life decision there is never only one way. There is however, typically one way that satisfies the status quo. This is what us trendsetters live for: challenging the status quo. And I am happy to say that since the last time I was heavily involved in weddings (3x teenage bridesmaid over here!), the traditions are dying or in the case of the ring, transforming in a way that is better for the bride!
The 1960s Bride: It hit me when I was watching the movie Priscilla. Elvis just came home with a ring one day! Priscilla was beyond shocked, there was no proposal photographer, her family wasn’t even in the state, and she had no say over the ring’s design. I grew up thinking this was “the way” and now I’m just appalled! How lackluster and thoughtless? I never thought I was going to get the opportunity to fully pick out my own engagement ring but, when Pat asked me if I wanted to go to the jeweler, it was just another example of why he’s the best guy for me.
The Modern Bride: Designing your own engagement ring from the ground up is the only way to ensure you get exactly what you want. You don’t just pick out of the showroom and drive it off the lot. Most places make engagement rings custom because that is the trend. Some will say, the sentimental value of an engagement ring can be so strong that the design of it doesn’t matter. But I don’t know those girls! Most people want the most meaningful piece of jewelry that they will either hand down or take to the casket to be absolutely jaw dropping!
Ring Shopping Prep: As I was preparing to join Pat on the ring shopping adventure, I didn’t have specific designs in mind therefore, I probably would have been enthralled with any yellow gold + diamond concoction Pat and the jeweler threw together. But now, when I look at my ring I don’t think of Pat trying to pick the perfect ring unconfidently or myself Pinteresting from a distance and putting my friends in the middle of it, I think about us. Together. How we’ll always be. Step one of a very soon to be long list of planning tasks that require intense creativity and many hours…complete!
Pinterest Didn’t Help: I did of course take to Pinterest before our ring appointment to help guide the jeweler in a certain direction. And honestly, I recommend Pinterest for many things for the wedding process but not for the ring hunt. Almost all the rings that came up for me to pin were from Etsy. My jeweler questioned the quality and durability of almost every single one. So instead of doing your research on Pinterest and getting disappointed when there is nothing similar in the store, check out your jeweler’s website or social channels and save images of real rings you can actually try on.
Diamonds: There were many rings I liked. I joked that I wanted to wear a different one each day. It was such a hard decision to only get one. I couldn’t imagine how any man would know with 100% conviction that they had chosen the one. There are two main parts to picking out an engagement ring: the band, often referred to as the mounting and the diamond. The area I wanted to focus on was the band because the diamond is really what drives the cost. Since this ring was a gift, obviously, I didn’t want to dictate the diamond’s clarity or carats. I did express that I wanted a round or oval diamond - a classic shape that wouldn’t get caught on anything like a square or pear shaped diamond may. (I have long hair and I’d like to keep it that way!)
Bands: As for the bands, I wanted something thin and feminine (Like me! LOL, kidding!) for two main reasons. My fingers are small and also when adding a wedding band to the same finger, I don’t want the rings to feel like too much. I knew I wanted to wear the two rings together. The total length of my engagement is 18 months, which is the only period for all of my years that I will only be wearing one ring! For that reason, I requested to try on wedding bands with the engagement rings. The jeweler was kind of hesitant because apparently, no one does that? But really guys, c’mon? If you are fortunate enough to get to pick out an engagement ring please ensure there is a wedding band that looks and feels amazing with it! If not - pick a different engagement ring!
Runners Up: Onto the band’s design! The reason I am here, in this jewelry store. I know I want something interesting. Like I said, I like everything so, I am trying to hone in on patterns and similarities amongst my 7,000 favorite rings to help me decide on just one. I am usually decisive. I like to think I am a person who knows what I want and who goes after it so this was uncharted territory for me. I notice I am gravitating towards mountings with a spot for a main center diamond and little baby diamonds cascading down the sides. I want the back of the band to be shiny but flat without the diamonds all the way around for comfort purposes. A similar one that is gorgeous has 3 small diamonds on each side. Someone buy this ring! An important note: a lot of the rings I am trying on were in white gold and since I want yellow gold, I asked to see a CAD image of the ring in its real color to be 100% positive. This is something all my vendors at work provide me so I knew most jewelers would be able to as well! I wanted to let you in on this little pro tip because I don’t think it was a question they got asked a lot.
My Forever & Always Ring: As I am describing elements of each ring that I love and hate, the jeweler keeps pulling out different options to play around with. Like I said, I love almost all of them. There was only one ring in the case, which the jeweler didn’t pull, that I thought was super interesting so I requested to try it on. “Are those roses?” I asked while perking up. “Yes, it has roses on the mounting in rose gold and green gold.” As the jeweler freed the rose ring from the case, I was growing more and more curious. She was explaining to Pat and I that it's a vintage engraving style that is still used today but was first developed in the 1920s. I’ve been a flapper for Halloween at least 5 times! I’m obsessed with the 1920s and really fashion history in general! This is a huge turn on! I am salivating, I am drooling, and I need to sit down because, who even knew something like this would ever exist let alone in lil ‘ole Delaware?
The only thing is, the rose ring isn’t yellow gold. It's rose gold and green gold. And the one thing I thought I knew before I entered the trio of steps into Continental Jewelers, was yellow gold is my color. So now I’m thinking: I am really going to get a pink and green engagement ring. Is that weird? Am I crazy?
The other thing I can’t wrap my head around, which is a mega first world problem - is having only one diamond! I know, I know, I sound like an entitled diva but, all the other rings I tried on had diamonds within the mounting. I don’t want to pass up on my big opportunity to add some sparkle to my everyday looks! Decisions, decisions.
Ring shopping with your partner is the ultimate team building exercise! I think we both understand more about how the other comes to make decisions from looking at rings a few times, thinking about it, and returning to it. Pat was confident the rose ring had to be mine before I was. He convinced me to go for it. We really picked the ring together. I picked it from the case and he picked it from my top 5. He kept saying how it's so me and truly one of a kind. And it's true.
But what about the surprise? I know this is most people’s big question. They either think they’re supposed to be surprised or they want to be surprised. Pat never told me he bought the ring so when he proposed with it I was actually in shock. If it was a ring I had never seen before I don’t think it would have even registered. If you want to be surprised, trust your partner to surprise you!
Also, I never saw my ring fully assembled. First off, all the rings in the case were huge on me and second, the diamonds are just placed in the center. So I had to awkwardly hold my fingers out to keep the full setup together. After the appointment I flipped back through the photos which were really hard to take when I couldn’t move my ring hand to the right angles, so they don’t do the rings justice.
From a young age I’ve always felt the need to go against the grain, take style risks, start my own trends, and challenge the status quo. What better way to do that than with a sparkly floral ring, delicately engraved the same way for the past 100 years.
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