As soon as the clock strikes Black Friday Americans move a mile a minute preparing for Santa’s arrival. Picture this: you’re out making your annual present haul. You pause, you toss something in the cart that is so you and too cute for any of your relatives to actually pick out on their own. At checkout your tab is higher than expected and so you pass on that one special thing for yourself.
Red alert! I understand wanting to indulge in sweets rather than ATM transactions however, your holiday outings are worthy of something new sis! (Is this one of those self care things? Sure, let’s go with that!) End the decade on trend no matter where you dwell.
Stuck in the Suburbs: Let’s get one thing straight. Just because you don’t live within walking distance of a lavish club or a cute Christmas tree farm, you are not condemned to hosting an Ugly Sweater Party. I attended my first Ugly Sweater Party as an underclassmen in high school. I stuffed my face with candy canes, brought socks for a White Elephant, and took an anti-pill fleece sweater with stocking patches out of my mom’s closet and threw it on with leggings and Uggs post swim meet. To Gen X’s horror I wore said 1992 sweater without a white turtle neck choking me underneath. Now nearly every retailer brings in a large order of sweaters made specifically to be ugly - sweaters you can only wear like twice a year. At this point Ugly Sweater parties aren’t even a nostalgia thing in the suburbs, it's just what you do.
This was almost 10 years ago! What trend has been around for 10 consecutive years without any alterations? Denim? Um, no sweetie that’s a category. I don’t mean to be a scrooge, I am not anti-Christmas party in the slightest. I’m just sayin’ the jig is up - let’s look cute! You heard it here first!
The first part of Whitney Wisdom’s cute Christmas party is, you guessed it, the dress. As the hostess, you get a free pass to be the mostest! Break out the sequins before NYE. To avoid looking like an arts & crafts explosion when those non-forgiving fluorescent hall lights hit your outfit, opt for sparkle in one shade only. I’ve always been all about the black but, silver or emerald green make for a festive you. Translucency is ideal for a house party because let’s be real, a dress with a see through back or sleeves was not made for frosty December air. (I mean maybe if Jesus was born in Taurus season you could rock thin fabrics for outdoor Christmas events. Maybe.) BUT, pro tip: the mesh sleeves prevent pit-stains often caused by holiday ovens and overly crowded homes. When you wear something glitzy it's important to have the attitude to back it up. Go Marie Kondo on accessories, pull your hair back, and add tights just like the models would. It's not the drinks or the decor that will make this party memorable, it's the fashion.
Hot Child in the City: Being an indoor kid in the city isn’t an option. Anyone who’s ever lived in a major East Coast city knows the “magic” of a snowy downtown is just a pain for getting around - there’s nothing blissful about slush on your suede boots, okay?
This Christmas, city killers should seek the warmth of velvet and the attitude of fur. Velvet is always in this time of year! Fendi, Elie Saab, Etro (in Neiman Marcus), and even Ralph Lauren all showcased velvet on their Fall/Winter 2019 lines and these designers traditionally have miniscule in common. These names alone prove velvet lives an eternal life in snowy season. A staple in my wardrobe is a black velvet (please) halter top. I love it because the cut of a halter is unexpected for winter but in a luxe velvet fabrication it makes sense for the cold December to February. Sometimes I fill the deep v in the chest with copious silver chains, and sometimes I go bare bones - infinite ways to style a velvet halter.
If you’re someone who wants to go all in, stock up on velvet pants in a variety of jewel tones. Velvet pants emerged on the streets in a big way in 2018. For 2019 I expect them to out-trend corduroy. Steer clear of a long sleeve all velvet dress; it looks like what all the kids in church choir wear. Usher velvet into New Year’s gathering in the way of a strapless rose jumpsuit (preferably with pockets.)
To stay cozy on your brisk quest to find a place that sells both martinis and eggrolls, a faux fur cardigan is a must! Last year there were so many fur coats boppin’ around the city it looked like the dang Bronx Zoo. A one tone fur cardigan is more sophisticated and will not make you be mistaken for a modern-day guido mobster; unlike its predecessor. This cardigan is from the cutest brand Knitted and Knotted. Select a furry cardigan in any color on the scale from white to golden brown to not disappear into the black on black Manhattan uniform. For extras add some New York diamonds to your ears and a shiny chain belt that you likely haven’t seen since your DCOM watching days.
Small Town Girl:The bird has been shot, the berries have been gathered. Farm to table isn’t a trend to you, it’s a way of life. I’m not gonna lie, my knowledge of country starts with young Taylor Swift and ends with local parks (do those even count as country?) What I do know is, fashion and this dress is great for sipping beer on both the tailgate and around a campfire. It’s the same fuzzy material as an oversized flannel except it covers your whole bod, i.e. no pants required. Do I need to say anymore?
I know I don’t, but I will. The secret sauce in this dress that makes it flattering for all body types is the goal post v neckline. The horizontal lines up top hide shoulders and arm flab while the v extends to the chest to ensure this dark flannel garment is anything but, anti-feminine. The buttons are engraved brass medallions reminding us of the working-class Victorian. Finding a plaid dress can be difficult. An oversized men’s flannel could do the trick with some cinching and a properly placed belt. Pick a plaid with a subtle festive flex: red, white, and golden stripes on a dark charcoal ground.
Instead of seeking texture in the way of a jacket or sweater that would cover up the dress, I turn to my trademarked long locks. Twisting your hair into a braid allows passer-by-ers to focus on your outfit with ease. The prairie dogs are a howlin’ for this one. That is, if they howl.
Whether your spending this December in West Virginia or the Upper West Side, work Wisdom into your wonderland wardrobe!
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