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What the Wild Things Wear

Updated: Sep 8, 2019


Did Tarzan just leave me in this sandstone? I'm in stilettos!

Fall 2019's Queen of the Jungle doesn't hiss, doesn't purr, in fact she doesn't even roar. She simply stands tall and minds her own business (no, it's not me).


She's tan and brown and has spots littered all over. If she was a roller-coaster, she'd be the death drop. If she was an ice cream, she'd be a slender sugar cone. She's the tallest and most understated animal in the kingdom... until now.

Introducing: the giraffe!


Her print is on everything from Burberry trench coats to silky McQueen scarves. For the present moment, giraffe print is reserved for luxe goods,strutted on the runway. This print is an easy update to classic cheetah spots in mass markets. I could pull 2018 snakeskin sales from any major retailer to prove that America goes wild for animal prints. Be patient, and add these giraffe patterned pieces to your fall wish-list!


Photo taken from Wikipedia. By H. Zell - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=80497275

*For anyone who has never been to Africa, or you know, the zoo: a giraffe’s coat is white with large brown uneven spots. The brown spots are oblong and are so close together, the white appears as cracks in a brown ground. It’s almost like that black crackling nail polish coat Katy Perry endorsed in 2009. PTSD? Sorry!


-What pieces werk-


Boss Attire: A giraffe printed collared shirt says “you can’t afford me.” It's better to be upfront, if you think about it! As a general rule, animal prints look the most posh when worn in a structured silhouette. This is because structured pieces such as, a point collar button down number (shoulder pads, anyone?), or an oversized blazer have more of an aspirational feel than say, a slouchy t-shirt. Animal prints are traditionally worn as a symbol of status in lieu of wearing actual hunted prey (ew).


The best mass market giraffe printed collection I have seen up to this date, is at H&M. The line is 1960s inspired but worked in some fitted animal print tops nicely. Wear a giraffe button down to the office to bring life to your cube, then as you head to your favorite spot for drinks, unbutton to reveal a lace underpinning. Desk to drinks made easy!


Lower Half Love: Printed tops have been a thing for years! I’m not saying I’m over it but what I am saying is, let’s be equal opportunists and give printed bottoms their time in the limelight! Skirts, leg-lengthening ankle pants...any bottom that is not skin-tight. Giraffe leggings or tights that plaster your legs will make you look like an actual zoo animal because, giraffe’s are known for their long limbs,so steer clear.



A main reason people struggle with printed bottoms is they aren’t sure what to pair with them. With giraffe print you don’t have to settle for a plain white t (unless your name is Deliah, then this is encouraged) or a mundane brown henley. A soft lace or crochet camisole, wrap, or ruffled blouse creates a whole sophisticated atmosphere for your outfit! If luxe lace feels a bit much too for you, go ahead and grab your solid shirt but, shroud it in a furry cardigan or vest. Remember: animal print is all about looking like you’ve got an AMEX Platinum in your wallet when in reality, its coins and gumwrappers that call your purse home.


Accents: Animal printed sunglasses have long reigned because they give off the same look as a basic black or brown but with a fresh texture. They’re easy and they match everything! Tortoise shell in either a square or mod O shape stole my heart years ago. When it comes to sunglasses I am one of the few people that is more loyal to patterns than shapes. This year the Tortoise is not winning the race and neither is the Hare. In fact both are getting lapped by my girl the giraffe.I’m swapping my shades out for tortoise’s taller and faster counterpart, giraffes. (Random inquiry: I feel like giraffes would make great distance runners, right?)


Paparazzi hittin' me from all angles.

Moving south, consider a stewardess neck scarf. Stay with me. Tied neatly to the side of the neck. No looping, not hitting your shirt collar. Tan tonal in color. Shiny silk in material.

I love nothing more than the old school glamour a neck scarf represents. Bergdorf Goodman carries a mixed animal print scarf by Alexander McQueen that is just, the most! A tiny scarf is a great way to test out this new print and to see if you already own anything that matches the wild thing pattern. Make your own bitty neck scarf with a small strip of silky fabric cut at your local craft store. Be sure to clip the ends into points.

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